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HOW MY AFGHAN FAMILY RESCUED CHRISTMAS

December 23, 2013

Your Comments are appreicated!

By Humaira

I think back to 1998 when my husband Jim and I hosted our first Christmas holiday get together. We had been married for two years at the time, were living in a tiny apartment, and I worked a busy jobs which left no time to cook. Although I had spent a couple of holidays with Jim’s family, I had never played hostess

Looking back, Christmas dinner was a little over my head. Come to think of it, there were several things wrong with this plan:

1.    I didn’t celebrate Christmas growing up, and frankly, knew very little about the holiday.  Even though I came to the United States from Afghanistan at the age of 11,  I didn’t know much about the American traditions of Christmas.  My family took advantage of the Christmas sales and the days off work, but we didn’t do anything special around the holiday.  Once in a while, my Dad would show up with gift, but that was at random and no one reciprocated. 

2.   I did not know how to cook.

3.   I had no idea what one traditionally serves on Christmas Eve, or Christmas Day, and Jim wasn’t much help in enlightening me.

Since our apartment was small the tree was sufficient decoration. Thanks to our landlord we had a wreath on the door.  I worried about what to feed everyone. Afghans host by plying their guests with many meals, tea, snacks, and more tea, never letting anyone lift a finger. Considering I didn’t know how to cook, figuring out what we were going to eat was a challenge.  I made up for this shortcoming by being a resourceful planner, which usually serves me well. But sometimes I plan too quickly and miss important details.

My game day plan was to serve fresh bagels, lox and cream cheese from Noah’s down the street on Christmas morning. For dinner, I called Mollie Stones, an upscale grocery store, and ordered the full line-up:  “homemade” turkey, stuffing, potatoes, rolls, vegetable and dessert. It all sounded great and all I had to do was heat and serve. 

As Christmas approached, I made many calls to my mom, Jeja, for advice. She was worried that I do a good job hosting my in-laws and supported my plan to order in dinner since she had no faith in my cooking ability. She even offered to cook an Afghan dinner one night and send it over from Fremont to San Francisco. I declined since I was not sure if Jim’s family would like Afghan food. I still don’t know if they like Afghan food.

 On Christmas morning I woke up before everyone else, got dressed and walked to Noah’s bagels on Fillmore Street. It was a crisp San Francisco day. I noted how deserted the streets looked.  “Maybe it’s still too early for people to be up,”  I cautiously wondered. “Maybe people are sleeping in today." As I turned onto Fillmore Street it quickly sunk in that every shop on the street was closed, including Noah’s bagels. Not a single soul was in sight on this normally bustling street. 

To my horror I realized that EVERYTHING is closed on Christmas.  Not just Noah’s, but Mollie Stone’s too.   After a cheerful greeting from a homeless person who seemed very happy to see me, I ran home and shook Jim to a quick state of wakefulness.  “Did you know everything is closed on Christmas day?” I asked.  “Yes, everyone knows that,” he said.  Everyone, apparently, except Jeja and me.  

Thank goodness I had enough bread, jam and cereal to offer for breakfast that day.  Nobody seemed to care about the missing bagels, but I couldn’t work up the nerve to tell them about our missing dinner. 

I called Jeja.  She was panicked.  “How could this be,” she said. “No food for guests?  How horrible.”    I could hear my Dad, siblings and even my young nephew Abe jabbering in the background, offering ideas, suggestions, and “tisk tisking” this bad fortune, shaking their heads all the while, I’m sure. 

Our wedding photo with both sides of the family.

Our wedding photo with both sides of the family.

 At noon my brother Waheed called with Plan B.  He said Jeja had intended to roast a couple of chickens for their dinner that night. Instead, she’d send them over for our Christmas meal.  At 5:30 Waheed showed up at my doorstep with a car full of food, still warm.  Jim’s family was amazed that my family gave up their meal so we could have a special Christmas dinner, and that Waheed had driven an hour to deliver it to us.   They couldn’t comprehend the importance my Afghan family placed on making sure my guests would get the royal treatment.   In my country, not doing so would be considered shameful -- to our province, to our clan, to our qala (the family compound) and to our family.

I will forever be grateful to my mom for cooking, to Waheed for delivering the food, and to the rest of the family for their belief that it takes a village to host well.  I am also grateful to Jim’s family for happily accepting what came to them without judgment or resistance. 

I have since learned to cook, entertain and plan better.  In honor of this rescue I share our Roasted Chicken with Afghan Spice Rub recipe.

Happy holidays to all of you!!!

RoastedChicken

RoastedChicken

Roast Chicken with Afghan Spice Rub

1 whole chicken, rinsed and patted dry

½ tsp. ground coriander

½ tsp. ground paprika

½ tsp. ground cumin

½ tsp. turmeric

½ tsp. garlic powder

½ tsp. Kosher salt

1 lemon, cut in half

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Set the chicken in a roasting pan, preferably on a roasting rack.  In a small bowl stir together the 4 spices, the garlic powder and the salt.  Squeeze both halves of the lemon over the chicken and then stuff into the cavity of the bird.  Gently pat the spice rub evenly over the entire chicken. Roast the chicken until done, 45 minutes to an hour depending on the size of the bird. 

Your Comments are appreicated!

Except where otherwise noted, all content on this blog is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported license.

In Humaira's Musings
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Copyright Statement

October 21, 2013

By Humaira

Except where otherwise noted, all content on this blog is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported license.

 

You may reach Humaira Ghilzai at hghilzai@gmail.com to receive permission to publish recipes from this blog.


In "Copyright Statement", Humaira's Musings
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CATHOLIC MONASTERY, MUSLIM WOMAN – LIFE’S SURPRISES

May 8, 2013

Monastery of Christ in the Dessert - Abiquiu, New Mexico

By Humaira

There are times I feel ill suited for my community.  Somehow I always seem to be doing things a little off from the norm.  This year when people asked me about our family’s spring break plan, I enthusiastically answered,  "The kids going to be with their doting grandmother and that I am off to a Monastery in New Mexico." The reaction, a blank stare and then...

“Oh! That is interesting, are you going on a yoga retreat?”

 “No yoga, no retreat, I am just going to visit the brothers.” 

My answer was clearly a conversation stopper.  Apparently not many people go to a Monastery for a “visit”, especially not a Muslim Afghan woman.   Monastery of Christ In the Dessert is tucked away in a canyon in northern New Mexico, about 13 miles on a dirt road, off a remote highway.

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Chapel at sunrise, the best time of the day

Even though the Monastery is cut off from the world; no cell access or Internet but the modern amenities of warm showers, cozy rooms and great food are still there.  No roughing it for this gal.

Twenty-one years ago my eldest brother who used the pseudonym Fred Believer, became estranged from our family and took refuge among the brothers who accepted him unconditionally and made him part of their community.  My brother became the grounds keeper of the Monastery and lived as a layman in the community until he joined his maker on February 25th, 2013. Despite the fact we were devastated and hurt without him for all those years, we are grateful that he lived with the love of the brothers.

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Chama river runs through the canyon, a great hike got me here

Last spring on my third visit to the Monastery after my brother’s death, I made an Afghan feast for the community.  I must admit prior to that meal the most I had cooked for was around 20 people. I was very nervous cooking for such a large group, nearing 45, but thankfully the dinner was a hit. Naturally I wrote a blog post about it.  I was honored to be welcomed back as a visitor this year and my offer to make an Afghan meal again was accepted. 

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We had a talking meal in celebration of the feast

This year my capable assistants were Br. Benedict, Br. Caedman and my brother’s sweet heart Rosy.  We chopped large bunches of cilantro, tons of tomatoes, green onions and yellow onions.  We assembled 50 bolanis, marinated 40lbs of chicken, cooked 10 eggplants and made five pounds of rice pudding.

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Br. Benedict offering a rice pudding taste to Prior James

Cooking for the community is not only an honor but also a wonderful opportunity to go behind the scenes and into the world of the monks.  I understand outsiders are rarely allowed to cook for the community.  During the hours I spent in the kitchen I got to talk, laugh and even dance to the Beatles with the brothers as they went about their day of work and prayer. 

Although the brothers and guests move about their days in silence they seem to make exceptions when I am around.  Everyone overlooks the fact that I don’t know the right rituals at the Chapel or that I tease the brothers when I should be formal with them or that I chat up a storm during moments of silence.   After eight hours of cooking, I was energized by the love, acceptance and kindness of the brothers who made me feel right at home and part of their community, just like they did with my brother.

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Social hour after Sunday mass

Last year I made a formal meal of Qabili Palau, Kadoo, slow cooked spinach the coveted Afghan Sabzi dish. Most Afghan dishes taste best when served hot, right out of the pot.  Since the brothers have formalities and prayers before the Sunday meal, I decided to make dishes that can sit for a while and still taste delicious.  

The menu consisted of what I call Afghan street food.  Dishes that are; easy to prepare, do well at room temperature and they are fun to eat.  The brothers don’t eat lamb or beef so the meat I featured was a Chicken Kebab.  For the vegetarians we had potato Bolani, Afghan eggplant dish, Borani and a big fresh Afghan Salad.   At the last minute I decided to make Dough, the Afghan salted yogurt drink which people either love or hate. In this case it was love.  Rosy's favorite, the creamy rice pudding with almond slivers and cardamom was a big hit with the Indian brothers who were reminded of their home. I hope that one day you all will have a chance to visit this magical place, The Monastery of Christ In the Dessert.

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Gorgeous fresh ingredients

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Delicious salad lovingly made by Br. Benedict

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Sweet and creamy rice pudding

This Afghan feast was dedicated to my brother, Fred

Believer who loved this monastery

and all the brothers with all his heart.

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April 2011, my daughters Sofia and Aria and their uncle, Fred Believer

Menu

Sunday April 28, 2013

Bolani

Afghan flat bread stuffed with potatoes, leeks & cilantro

Afghan Chicken Kebab

Marinated in a yogurt cumin sauce

Afghan Eggplant

Flavorful eggplant slowly baked in a tangy tomato sauce served with a garlicky yogurt sauce

Afghan Salad

Freshly tossed salad with lemon dressing

Rich and Creamy Rice Pudding

Slow cooked rice putting with almonds, cardamom and pistachios

Dough

Afghan yogurt drink with salt, cucumber and dried mint

Rosy and Mother Juliane, my favorite ladies at the Monastery

Except where otherwise noted, all content on this blog is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported license.

In Humaira's Musings, Menu
15 Comments
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I have over sixty Afghan food recipes on this blog. Use this search field to find my most popular recipes—bolani, shohla, kebab—or a specific dish you may be looking for.

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